Day 26

I know I haven't written in several (a bunch of) days, but it's coming close to the end of thirty days and I'm just checking in to say I'm still on track.  Despite a couple of "deployed family valentines day dinners" I still stayed on track.  Go me.  The end.

Day 18

Wow.  I keep forgetting to post.  My bad.  Life feels SO busy lately (and I still just have the two kids and this weekend was actually much more calm than last week...although we did still have two things on the calendar yesterday).
You'll be proud.  Despite the fact that at Love & Logic class they had candy on the table...and despite the fact my table-mates think it's funny to slowly grab a chocolate and act like it's the best thing ever, I didn't eat any (not even a Twix or Snickers).  I did, however, grab one fun sized one for each of the boys (just like I did last week...because I'm *that* mom who rarely gives my kid candy and definitely not right before bed...but if it means I can live vicariously through them, I'll totally do it...because that somehow makes it easier to resist eating it myself).
Second thing: I'm down to 146.2.  It's still chunkier than several months ago before Hubby went on his "must eat everything I like before I deploy" phase, but down two pounds is still a win for me. (And makes it easier not to find the baggie of Oreos I found in the back of the pantry as I was cleaning it out OR the little chunk of frozen cookie dough I saved from the last time I made a batch of cookie dough.)
Final thing: I've learned yet again (not that I really ever forgot) that there's no question I'm an emotional eater *and* that I love food.  When I'm really upset (mad or sad) I turn to food.  When something awesome happens and I want to celebrate, I think of something great to put in my belly.  Even when I'm bored, I want to snack.  Not that I haven't been snacking (because I have) but sometimes I've been choosing healthier options (although sometimes I've just chosen something salty instead of something sweet)

Day 16

I kept to my goals today.  I was *this* close to slipping up, but had apples and peanut butter instead.  I'm about to eat cheese and crackers and lunchmeat (yes, I bought some) and then crash in bed. 
I *did* have my favorite tea tonight as a reward for getting some stuff done and I did put one packet of Truvia in it (for whatever reason, that always tastes way better than honey or sugar...and is weird since I never use it in anything else...)

Day 15

FYI: Day 14 had no slipups...and nothing really worthwhile to mention

Day 15 was a really hard day for me emotionally.  But I was able to make it to the gym for the first time since Hux and I got sick (yay) and I resisted eating Andes Mints OR leftover birthday cake that's in the freezer when I was bawling my eyes out.  PLUS I didn't eat any desserts OR drink soda at the deployed families dinner (where I could've justified the soda because it's free, I never get/drink soda, and I needed caffeine to stay awake...but I didn't).  Go me.

Day 13

Day 13 was fine.  I was so busy and tired that sugar didn't happen.  Had a financial counseling client in the morning which took longer than expected.  Pick up the boys and naptime.  Wake boys up early to go to the vet for Foster Dog.  Swing by Adopters house to drop off Foster Dog and finish the paperwork.  Then home since I was supposed to get a call about a new foster kiddo (although I ended up never getting the call).  I'll be honest: I gave the boys a candy in the car since I felt guilty that they were stuck in the car for the better part of two hours straight, but I had no desire to steal their candy (because it wasn't my favorite)

Day 12

I know it's not even five yet, but I'm sure I'm going to stick to the eating plan.  If someone offered to drive me to In N Out or somewhere to get a chocolate shake, I'd totally take them up on it, eating plan or no, but that won't happen and luckily I'm lazy enough where I'm not going to drive anywhere.  Sure, I still want some of the candies around the house (or better, to make some chocolate chip cookie dough) but meh.
In other notes: Our new foster dog has found her forever home.  She has her microchip apt tomorrow and will go home shortly after that.  AND I got Hubby's quilt totally schmooshed together and most of the binding done for Felix's quilt.  PLUS we picked up and vacuumed this morning since I knew we were having company.  There are still time out toys on the counter, dirty dishes in the sink, and several loads of laundry that need to be put away (and more that needs to be done since Gabriel took yet another nap [yay] but peed in his sleep [boo])

Day Eleven

You'd be SO proud of me.  Last night at my Love & Logic parenting class, they had fun sized candies ALL OVER the table.  It was SO tempting.  They even had Twix...and Snickers!  I ate none...and was kinda disappointed, but still.

Day 10

Not much to say.  No candy, but I did eat chips...and am currently sitting here waiting for our new foster dog (thanks Haley for picking her up and dropping her at my place so I can be lazy and not drive ALL the way out there) trying to convince myself not to eat more chips.  But, hey, no desserts is still a win.

Day 9

I know it's the next morning.  I didn't eat desserts (although I REALLY wanted cookies).  I actually fell asleep at 7:15.  I think we've all been uber worn out what with not feeling well and then with Hux being up almost all night for several nights straight.  Gabe requested to go to sleep early and I decided to do the same in hopes I'd get a couple hours of sleep before Hux woke up screaming.  That's one way to avoid getting the nighttime munchies I guess

Day 8 Warning

It isn't even seven in the morning yet, but I'm just gonna throw it out there that there's an extremely high chance I'm going to stuff my face with candy or cookies.  It isn't even seven and I'm already over it.  I got minimal sleep due to a cry-screaming-hitting toddler.  The sleep has gotten worse and worse over the last few days, but was little enough last night that it was close to nothing and my brain feels like scrambled eggs and like I'm going to break at any moment.  Gorging chocolate seems like a wiser decision than flipping my top at little people.  The pets have their yearly appointments today so it isn't just like I can try and try to force extra naps and sleep when he sleeps.  And my apples are all gone.

Day 7

I ate a lot of fish sticks for dinner.  Although I wanted to (and although I found my chocolate chips I could've sworn I'd bought before but lost [FYI they were in the cabinet right where they should be...but just hidden behind the new hoard of spices I have]) I didn't make/eat any desserts today.  I did have one packet of Truvia (which I never use except in this one thing) when I made my favorite tea.  But that's not a dessert so doesn't count with my don't-eat-list.  Today was both hard because I felt really munchy and REALLY felt like eating something sweet, but we had apple slices with peanut butter for morning snack and that really helped, and easy because Hux was so cranky all day that I didn't really even have time to make something bad-for-me.

Day 6

It happened again where I forgot to update about yesterday and here's why: I *felt* like we were getting better so I REALLY pushed myself and got the house mostly cleaned up.  Gabe was doing the whole "I'm going to disobey 95% of the time" thing so the whole high counter is filled with toys that are in toy time out.  I still need to finish the dishes and laundry and vacuuming, but the house is seriously so.much.better than it has been the past almost week.  But...due to sleeping for only three to four hours (of interrupted sleep) the night before, I was utterly worn out.  Hux lost his final pacifier so I was afraid of how the night would go, but he went to sleep *relatively* easily.  Gabe actually requested to go to bed a half hour early and I thought I was in heaven.  I finished eating up dinner and was getting everything ready for bed...when Gabriel woke up from a nightmare.  *Hangs head*  Ten or so minutes after I got him back to sleep, Hux woke up totally flipping out.  I'd get him back to sleep, but he'd wake up when I tried to lay him down...so finally I just set him down and let him cry it out (which is not what I prefer, but we're talking my body ached and my brain felt disconnected because I was so tired).  I'm truly surprised he didn't wake Gabe up.  After a while, he calmed down and I struggled not to freak out that he was dead (as opposed to the more logical "he cried himself to sleep").  So I waited for a little while to make sure I didn't wake him up and I snuck in to make sure he was still breathing.  When all of that was over, I rushed off to bed and crashed (well, technically I woke up four or five times last night, but the boys were safe in bed sleeping each time).  This morning, I woke up to Hux walking into my room crying.  *fingers crossed it was a fluke like it was several months ago and that he isn't going to need to transfer to a toddler bed...*
But...despite *really* wanting to munch on some yummy desserts when I was getting frustrated, I didn't.  Yet another day down.

Day 5

I haven't eaten any desserts/candies today.  It wasn't really hard.  I'm not anti-sugar though.  I made some natural ketchup (which tastes way more vinegary since I used ACV instead of white vinegar) which included some splenda/sugar mix.  I'm tempted to order a pizza simply because Gabe's been asking for it and I don't have everything to make some *real* pizza (I only have tortillas and stuff for a coconut flour crust, both of which he says he doesn't want), but we'll see.  Hux has been sleeping on and off today and Gabe ended up falling asleep on the couch at two o'clock and has been asleep for almost 2.5 hours, so I'm afraid he's sick now too, poor little guy.

Day 4

I'm going to write now at seven instead of right before bed.  I'm definitely not going to eat any sugar tonight.  Hux and I both felt unwell today (worse) so I pretty much was only able to eat a bit of cheesy eggs for breakfast, four chunks of cheese with crackers, 1/2 a quesadilla for dinner with a *bunch* of clementines in the meantime.

Day 3

I know I didn't post last night about how I did yesterday, but know it's not because I was ashamed.  I ate almost totally healthy yesterday.  I didn't do any desserts or honey/sugar.  I was simply gone/out of it because I may or may not be sick and my youngest may or may not be teething *and* sick.  Hux (my youngest) started acting weird two days ago and I figured it was his last teeth popping through...but then yesterday I had more than just a scratchy throat and Hux started acting worse.  He had weird naptimes and was generally sad/crabby yesterday (and today).  He also woke up every single hour until Gabe (my older) woke up from a nightmare.  Honestly, late at night is my biggest weakness time.  So I'm pretty proud of myself that I didn't eat anything I shouldn't.  Woo hoo for me. 

Another thing that normally would have me emotionally eating: Hux may or may not have broken the water heater.  I tried to fix it but couldn't.  It "only" cost $212 to have the guy fix it, but that's $212 from the no-spend month that we were having.  On the one hand, I'm glad we've been able to stick to a no-spend month so at least I didn't have to pay for it with a credit card...but a part of me is really frustrated that we've been living minimalistically and all that we've saved is, well, no longer saved.  Know what I mean?  Oh well though...

So today I'm still feeling...off...  And my voice has been mostly lost for the last two hours.  I kinda feel like a frozen Andes Mint would be awesome on my throat right now, but I know that won't help me reach my goals.

At least I realized Hux was acting weird that first day and kept us home.  So glad that we won't be getting anyone sick

Day 2

I can't say I necessarily ate *really well* today.  I had nachos for dinner.  Mmm...nachos.  So yummy.  BUT I didn't eat any desserts, despite having a pipe gushing water from the side of my house that I still haven't figured out yet.  I got some chores done, worked for half of the day trying to figure out the water issue...and am kinda just hoping it resolves itself by the morning.  No matter what happens, I didn't turn to sweets for comfort.  So I'm just gonna go ahead and call it a win for the day.

How to : cut back

Hillary, my workout leader, has challenged herself to go without sugar for thirty days.  It helps her clear her head and become more focused.  That makes sense (after the first several days of course).  The last time I did without chocolate for a month, I was in high school...and I only did it because my friends bet me I couldn't.  I've gone sugarless one or two other times, but let's be real: I like sugar.  Point: In a three week span in our household, we had two holidays, two birthdays, and two people leave.  Hubby wanted a bunch of his favorite junk foods before he deployed and left all of the remnants here which we've been munching on since.  But...it's been a little over two weeks now and I'm back in a more better place, have a routine, etc.  It's time.  It's time to get focused again and actually *work* toward my goals.  If she's wanting someone to keep her accountable, I totally understand that.  I have horrific defiance issues, but I totally get that.  So here I am with the goal to do a similar thing (candy-free as I used to be).  I'm not sure if I'll make it (gotta be honest) but even if I don't, I'll still be in a better place than I was a couple of weeks ago.  Today (day one) has been pretty easy.  We had our normal eggs for breakfast (and the boys had greek yogurt as well), the boys had a snack in the car (after the gym but before the library) and a sandwich for lunch.  I had soup for lunch because, well, yum.  I'm more worried about when we get matched with another foster set and how I'll do at that time.  There's usually an interesting transition phase for a week or two where I try and figure out what I can even get the kids to eat.  We never do soda for the kids (and I don't drink it when Hubby is gone because I love water so much), rarely do juice, don't always have a dessert, etc and that's a real shock to some kids.  Plus...I get emotional.  And I'm an emotional eater.  Brutal honesty.  Plus, I straight up love food.  I love almost every single kind of food (save for vinegary things; ew). 
Point: we shall see how it goes.  I've mostly been doing good eating more veggies and proteins since a few days after Hubby left, but I still munch on other delicious stuff and, yes, sometimes we have noodles with butter and parmesan cheese and that's all.  Because it's yummy.  Mmm...now I want spicy thai noodles...